


Goner

by DeanTheRidiculous



Category: Swiss Army Man (2016), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Gen, I don't know how to tag this, Song Lyrics, hanks POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 13:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14619668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanTheRidiculous/pseuds/DeanTheRidiculous
Summary: Hank and his thoughts accompanied with Twenty One Pilots' Song lyrics from "Goner".





	Goner

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in the evening of two days. Really it was just a sudden inspiration and me just … well, did this.  
> Also, I suck at grammar or english language in general. Writing is like a great guessing game to me really.  
> I hope you enjoy anyways :D

**A person or thing that has no chance of continuing to live:**

 

**goner**

* * *

> _ I'm a goner _
> 
> _ Somebody catch my breath _
> 
>  

It‘s over.

 

That‘s it.

 

This is how Hank‘s life would end. 

Lost. Alone. On a beach. Hanging himself. 

Nobody told him it would end like this. Nobody told him it  _ could _ end like this.

He wished somebody did. He wished someone told him how life was supposed to go. Wished someone had told him what to do in a situation like this. He also wished someone had ever told him that they were proud of him. But right now, at this final moment, he just wished for somebody. At all.

Now he would die here, being lonely and no one will ever notice. Not even his father. He‘d probably laugh at him. Tell him how pathetic he was for not wanting to die alone. 

Hank imagined his disappointed voice: „Couldn‘t you at least die like a man?“ He wished for someone to be here with him, but maybe not his father. Probably not.

He just could do without the loneliness.

He moved to step from the pedestal, and then he saw it, he saw him, and then he fell and he would die. But the rope broke and he fell on his bum. Hank scrambled to his feet and ran to the newly discovered body.

Dead.

 

> _ Though I'm weak _ __   
>  _ And beaten down _ _   
>  _ _ I'll slip away _ _   
>  _ __ Into the sound
> 
>  

As if mocking him for his misery the dead body farted. Long and loud.

‚Well, that‘s depressing. Let‘s get back to hanging ourselves.‘ Hank thought. But what was he expecting? That some God send someone to make his death more bearable? That someone would come around and help him? Unlikely–

And then he heard it again. Could that have been a sign? He waited and then watched in astonishment.

When the farts of the body took the dead stranger a few meters over the water Hank had finally moved to reach him. A smile had spread across his face. These sounds would mean rescue, they would make him happy whenever he’d hear them. He wished he could drown in these farts of a dead stranger.

But now wasn’t the time. A new chance for life presented itself right before him. Hank moved to mount the corpse and like a jet-ski, it carried him over the sea.

> _   
>  _ _ I've got two faces _ _   
>  _ _ Blurry's the one I'm not _

 

Some time has passed. Hank got to discover that his friend, at first inanimate, fulfilled several functions. He also started to talk and move a little.

Manny. Hank’s savior. And currently the only friend. 

However, Manny had lost all the memories from his previous life and Hank tried to bring them back to him, but it proved to be a pretty difficult task with only the things the forest provided him with.

Hank told Manny about his wife Sarah, whom Manny forgot. “You really loved her. You were happy.” Hank assured him. And Manny had looked so sad that it was taken from him, that he couldn’t remember.

It was a lie. Of course, he couldn’t remember. Hank told Manny a tale. Sarah was the girl Hank liked, loved from a safe distance on the bus and now he was lying to Manny to motivate him. Even dressed as her occasionally so Manny could ~~re~~ live some moments with her. He wasn’t proud of it, or happy about it. He felt more guilty with every word of this web of lies, ‘But it was for a reason, right?’ he tried to convince himself. Nonetheless, a constant twinge of conscience was eating him alive.

In slow steps, Hank tried to teach Manny what social norms were, which things were socially acceptable. Every time Manny’s innocent mind came up with more questions of “Why?” and “But it’s okay if I do those things around you?”

Hank knew where he was coming from and he couldn’t really answer his questions. It didn’t make sense to him either. He didn’t mind if Manny did something society would cringe over. He loved it even. Every time a fart would escape Manny, a reflex from the past would make Hank grimace for a moment, and the next he couldn’t help but smile at the sound.

However, even though he felt closer to Manny than he ever did to anyone else, he maintained those social norms. He even hid his farts from Manny, which was so ridiculous considering how open Manny presented himself all the time. Hank kept hiding from Manny like he did from everyone else. He couldn’t tell all his secrets. Could not show all his faces, but only one that isn’t truly himself. This version he showed to others wasn’t who he is, but it was whom society accepted.

>   
>  _ I need your help to _ __   
>  __ Take him out   
>    
> 

Over time they became so close. Physically, since Hank carried him everywhere and needed to move Manny manually, and emotionally, because, who would have guessed? There were not many possibilities to hide your secrets in a situation like this.

Though, if it was him or Sarah that got closer to Manny, Hank wasn’t too sure. At this point, it was only confusing, but Hank enjoyed Manny’s closeness all the same.

Anyways, something else stood between them. When Manny realized that Hank was hiding things from him, his farts even, he was hurt and Hank was horrified all over again at how cruel his own behavior is.

However, Hank needed Manny to just accept his reticence and he also still needed Manny to help him through this game of survival.

Maybe Hank also needed Manny to accept Hank.

His insecurities lingered over their heads like a cloud of danger, threatening to tear them apart eventually.

Something about the moment assured Hank it’s gonna be alright. He had to get rid of this censored version of himself and he needed Manny to endure this with him.

So Hank came to the sudden decision to tell Manny about his mother, no matter how uncomfortable it was to him. He explained how people would look at him in disgust if they knew.

> _   
>  _ _ The ghost of you _ _   
>  _ _ Is close to me _

 

“When I masturbate, I’m gonna think about your mother.” Manny simply answered. He wasn’t able to show it on his face, but his voice was a hint of sincerity.

Hank told him, with disgust in his face, that it was not alright and this is not the reaction that would be expected from him. But inside, Hank was thankful, touched even. That weird statement of Manny was the dearest of reactions and he would never have thought it possible to be accepted like this. So easily.

But Manny did. Manny was close to Hank, as close as a best friend could be. Or more even.

His mind clean of memories from before he met Hank and a body that works like no one else’s and with which he could only sometimes move his face and nothing else on his own.

Manny wasn’t entirely there and yet he was there for Hank.

> _   
>  _ _ I'm inside out _ _   
>  _ _ You're underneath _

 

Hank was at his end. Unable to do anything much more. It was devastating. This journey was pointless. He couldn’t even imagine anymore to get anywhere where civilization would take him back. Not after he would tell them his story.

At any rate, he didn’t even know which way to go. Would he have to go over this pipe? Feeling at a loss he makes sure Manny holds onto his back and crawls over the pipes.

His mind is racing with ‘what if’s, ‘what could go wrong?’s and all his other uncertainties. Never really concentrating on the pipe ahead.

Manny’s weight a reassuring pressure at his back, letting his hands fall loosely. ‘I told him to hang on to me.’

His mind slips. Manny did so much for him. He has to do this, at least for Manny, to make sure he gets back.

And then his hand slips and after some undignified struggles they both land in the water.

Thoughts left Hank’s mind as water started to fill it instead. He watched his breath leave his lungs in big bubbles that tried to reach the surface, contrary to what he was doing. Something, he realized, tugged him deeper into the water and he looked down at himself to discover Manny, somehow connected to Hank and sinking deeper to the ground.

However this would end, if they survived or more likely died here in the water, Hank knew he wanted it to happen with Manny. There was no way he’d do anything without him and just like that his body set to move and he dove deeper down towards Manny.

The distance was only small and Hank had already stretched his arm to reach for his friend, but Manny was faster and a mysteriously strong grip grasped Hank’s hand and pulled him close.

Their bodies and faces drew closer, and Hank lifted his free hand to Manny’s face while Manny's hand reached around Hank's torso and then their lips met.

Just for a short moment until Hank noticed what Manny was doing and slipped an inch away to look at the man before him.

A smile he couldn't stop lit up Hank's face and he pulled himself back to Manny’s grinning face to kiss him again.

Manny was holding their bodies flush against each other, breathing into Hank, one secure arm wrapped around Hank's back.

They stayed like this until Manny farted them back to the surface.

 

> _ Don't let me be gone _

 

But everything was destroyed. Hank knew it was coming at him.

The happiness when he found a road nearby and knew it wouldn't be far from help and home anymore. The relief when it was clear they'd soon be safe.

And Hank knew he had to tell Manny the truth.

And so he did.

And he could almost see everything falling apart if it wasn't for some bear that snatched away Hank’s attention. 

He would need to use Manny's body to get rid of the Bear, but Manny had seen the picture of Sarah with her husband and apparently lost some of his magic.

 

> _ Don't let me be gone _

 

Hank catapulted himself and Manny on a tree.

Manny was hurt, asking Hank so many questions, about Sarah and then about life and something strange happened.

It seemed like Manny’s magic didn't disappear, but just went over to his thoughts and now he was using it to terrorize Hank’s mind, sending him thought after thought about their journey and shared moments.

Hank needed him to stop, to forgive him.

But with every thought, Manny pushed Hank further away, literally, until Hank fell back to the ground.

 

> _ Don't let me be gone _ _   
>    
>  _

The bear held Hank’s leg in his mouth and dragged him further away and Hank had already given up on Manny to save him. He didn't deserve it anyway, right?

Something Manny said echoed in his head. It sounded so nice and beautiful and Hank thought. He thought he wants to hear more. He wants to listen to more of Manny's thoughts and wonderful ideas.

He didn't wanna die here. He wanted to scream at Manny!

 

_ „Don't let me be!“ _

 

And with that, Manny, more magical than all his other powers, set to move, fell from the tree into the leaves and continued to twitch until he could crawl rather inelegantly towards Hank and the bear and managed to rescue them.

How Hank wasn't too sure. He passed out right after and woke up on Manny's back, who carried him to Sarah.

Nothing would ever be the way it was, everything would change and Hank should be happy.

But he wasn't. He wasn't happy when he could finally talk to Sarah, he wasn't happy when help finally came, not even when Sarah seemed to be genuinely worried about him.

Because his best friend wouldn't answer him anymore and nothing else could get to his brain anymore.

Everyone thought that's it. Some man just killed himself some weeks ago and nobody's even gonna show up to his funeral.

There was no way Hank would let them do this to his friend. Not after all he's done for him.

And so he took Manny away from the small crowd.

> __   
>  __   
>  _ I'm a goner _ _   
>  _ _ Somebody catch my breath _ _   
>  _ __ I wanna be known by you

 

He laid with Manny on the beach, the people from the police, the news, and even Sarah's family reached him shortly after.

He needed Manny to come back, he couldn't let him be dead.

So he whispered in Manny's ear.

Wonderful words, the kind Manny would like. The kind that would bring him back.

Handcuffed, Hank was about to follow the police away from the body, but then those noises he would always recognize and love started again. 

Manny farted again and then he opened his eyes and searched for Hank.

Slowly his farts steered him back in the ocean and Manny flashed one last reassuring smile in Hank's direction.

Hank has secrets and his own habits that are not socially accepted, but he wants them to be.

He wants to tell someone, he doesn‘t want to hide anymore. He doesn‘t want to hide from Manny. He doesn‘t care what they think. He loves his multi-purpose half corpse. And he will show them. And Manny will smile at him, Manny will understand. He doesn‘t need to come out of his hiding. It‘s enough if Manny knows. It‘s enough if Manny accepts.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know things didn't happen that way and everything is kinda over the place but hopefully still understandable!
> 
> And I'm aware that the interpretation to Goner is quite … debatable and no this is not really my interpretation. I'm pretty sure Tylor Joseph didn't sing about sounds that would keep him going and thought about farts… right?  
> So this is all just freely put together :3
> 
> I got into this fandom thanks to a friend (thank you very much, Minjung) and I still don't know what I'm doing here~


End file.
